| Stock Market Report
Helium was up, feathers were down and paper was stationery
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading, knives were up sharply while pencils lost a few points
Hiking equipment was trailing, elevators rose while escalators continued their slow decline
Weights were up in heavy trading, light switches were off and mining equipment hit rock bottom
Diapers remained unchanged, shipping lanes stayed on an even keel while the market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled, Caterpillar stock inched up a bit and Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated, Scott tissue hit a new bottom and Eveready exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
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